A Series of Unfortunate Sonnets: The Ersatz Elevator

Upon my first true reread of the series (I have not reread the entire series all in one go), I endeavour to write A Series of Unfortunate Sonnets: one sonnet written for each book. The sonnets will probably be rubbish (you could even say unfortunate), but nonetheless, it will be an experiment of my creativity. With thirteen chapters + a letter to the editor (explaining how to get the manuscript for each book), within thirteen books + follow up, a fourteen lined sonnet seems like the fitting form to adopt.

The Ersatz Elevator

New home: 667 Dark Avenue
Light is out, dark is in – in the Penthouse
What’s in and what’s out is an odd world view
Mr Squalor is nice, but not his spouse.

Esme only cares that orphans are in.
But the elevator is suspicious
Is Olaf hiding down there in the dim?
Climbing down the shaft is too ambitious.

The Quagmires are locked in a small cage.
To save them the Baudelaire’s are too late.
A secret passage goes on for an age,
It leads to their old home – why? is this fate?

A secret beneath their feet all those years –
How could this adventure not end in tears?

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