A Series of Unfortunate Sonnets: The Wide Window

Upon my first true reread of the series (I have not reread the entire series all in one go), I endeavour to write A Series of Unfortunate Sonnets: one sonnet written for each book. The sonnets will probably be rubbish (you could even say unfortunate), but nonetheless, it will be an experiment of my creativity. With thirteen chapters + a letter to the editor (explaining how to get the manuscript for each book), within thirteen books + follow up, a fourteen lined sonnet seems like the fitting form to adopt.

The Wide Window

If I was to drink for each line with a  
Warning, a drink for Vi’s hair in a bow,
A slug for a word definition (so bourgeois –
A fancy french word for common folk now)

A drink for the times Josephine was scared.
And a drink for each grammar correction.
A shot for every grown-up who cared
But was heedless, despite their affection.

A swig for each evil deed overcome
And one for evil Count Olaf in disguise.
One for each literary reference. Some
More booze for each time there is a surprise.

Then my dear Mr. Lemony Snicket,
By page four I’d be drunk as a cricket. 

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